What to do When He Acts Distant

One of the most frustrating things in a relationship is when men won’t open up and communicate. Sometimes they will shut down and act distant with you. When asked what’s bothering them, they will often respond by telling you it’s nothing, but it’s obvious that there is something bothering them. Here is some insight about what’s happening and what to do when your man acts distant.

 

Men process internally

Men don’t process thoughts and emotions like women do. The way women handle issues, is to get the comfort of other people. They will often express their thoughts and emotions by speaking with others. This in turn lets them process things.

Men on the other hand find speaking with others something that just gets in their way of processing issues. They prefer to think things through by themselves first. Speaking with someone is only done after they have reached a conclusion. Men view their problems as a sort of challenge, a puzzle that they need to solve on their own.

Sometimes their closed off behavior has nothing to do with anyone, they just want to handle the issue by themselves.

 

Just let them know you are there if they need someone, but don’t pry

Often times women will make the mistake of being too nosy in wanting a man to open up about his problems. This is because women can expect a man to behave like a woman in expressing themselves. They also believe that men will find talking just as relieving as women do.

The right thing to do is just to let him know that you are there if he does want someone to talk to, but then give him space and allow him to come to you about the subject.

 

Give him space

When it comes to giving him space, it isn’t enough to not talk about the subject that he won’t open up about. Often, women will do subtle things that will make him feel like she is not giving him space. These can include things such as; displaying faint signs that something is bothering you, sighing, acting concerned, or being too silent. Signs like these, as subtle as they are can make him feel like he isn’t receiving the space he needs to process his thoughts and emotions. The best course of action in this case would be to pretend like he isn’t going through anything at all.

 

Supporting by other means

When it comes to how you can show support and comfort a man who acts distant, it can be done through other means than verbally. When men don’t open up, support can be shown by; making his favorite dish, doing certain chores, or just spending time with him. This is often the best way to love and support him as prying too hard in expecting him to open up can just drive him further away as he becomes more defensive.

 

Giving him time with his friends.

Often, guys will find talking about their problems with other men easier than talking with a woman. A way in which you can help him express himself and open up is to let him be around his close friends. This will give him a chance to talk with them and hopefully open up to them, people he could be more comfortable with. After he has opened up to them, he may find it easier to talk with you.

 

Letting him know that vulnerability is something attractive

Men can sometimes hide behind a mask because they may think that women are only attracted to someone strong. Some men may think that they need to be a strong provider in the relationship in order to be of worth. Letting him know that it’s okay to be vulnerable with you is something that he may not know, or something that he may be afraid of. He may believe that once he does open up to you, you may never see him in the same way.

 

Expecting too much from him

Women may sometimes expect too much from a man they are in a relationship with. In some cases they may expect a man to open up, but the truth is that that’s as open as he may ever get. He just really doesn’t have anything on his mind.

 

Letters or email

An exercise in getting a man to express his feelings that can be helpful is to get him to write it out. This can be through email, or through a letter, but getting him to express himself through writing may be the approach that is necessary in him being open. This is because men may not like a face to face conversation when their emotions are so high.

 

No one ever said that getting along with the opposite sex would be easy. They process things differently, react differently, and behave in a completely unlike manner. What’s needed in making a relationship successful is taking the time to learn and understand the opposite sex. When it comes to getting a man to open up, patience and a soft approach is what’s needed.

 

 

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